Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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