Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
