Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
