Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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