this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize