I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
