Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
