If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
