Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
