thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
