So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
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Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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