I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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