Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
