I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
