did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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