please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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