Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
