Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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