Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So. Much. Porn.
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