Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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