So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
