How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
