I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
