my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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