Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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