im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
