Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
