I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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