In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
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