who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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