I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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