I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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