You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
