I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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