never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
