after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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