He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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