No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
