Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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