Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
