So drunk, too bad you don't want this
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
