He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
