He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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