The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
this hospital has no fireball
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
