why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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