i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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