Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
