You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
