you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
