I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
