when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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