Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
