So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
