nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
