I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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