shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
